Part One
December 23, 2008; 12:30mn
By Anthony B. Sia

When you don't know what to do; when you fear about the future; when you are in a great sadness and depression; when there is a enormous challenge and task ahead--when you are in these situations, the best thing to do is be still and just feel the presence and comfort of the Lord.

The night of September 8, 2008, a night before our big day (the Licensure Examination for Chemists), everybody at the dormitory was so nervous. I myself could not sleep with my heartbeat so fast. I don’t know what to do. I knew I am not going to pass the exam.

I fear the consequences of not passing it. I fear about my future.

If you might ask the reason behind my statement of not passing, well, here it is:

April 2008, we enrolled at a review center. I was excited. Despite my health situation I was eager to just study hard and do my best. The first two weeks of the review was really tough. It was the most stressful weeks of my life.After those weeks, I was bed ridden. After sleepless nights of completing the three problem sets, I was really sick.

Now, about my sickness, I don’t want to discuss it here but my close friends and many disciples know it. Anyway, I was bed ridden and I just decided not to attend the review classes anymore.

Going back to the night before the big day. When you’re about to take the board examination and you are sure you will not pass it, it feels like that is the most depressing night of your life.

Good thing the sister of my grandmother (mother side) gave me this old-school but good mp3 player. During that restless night of torture, I just listened to some Kingdom songs. I came across this beautiful acapella. It was not really my favorite christian melody, not until that time.

That night, the song was so comforting and I never thought it was that beautiful. Sang by the ICOC Kingdom Choir entitled Be still and know I am God, the song was probably inspired by Psalm 46 which has the following wordings in verses nine to ten (NIV):

He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

After listening to that tune I told myself: “It is sad when all the wories and anxieties of this world overwhelm us with great dispair without us realizing that our God is great, far greater than any problem or situation we could ever imagine. That our God, our Lord Jesus, the King of kings, the Lord of lords, the Name above every name, the One who has been entrusted to rule over the heavens and the earth—He is the One who holds the future. He is the One we should put our faith and trust in.”

As I realized that, I just felt deep within my heart an awesome sense of security and encouragement. Who holds the future but God alone.

And so I slept that night (that horrible night) and just thanked the Lord that I can be still and know that He is God.

I arrived at the apartment 8:45 this morning from a night shift in polymer laboratory. I just took a bath and slept right away. I woke up 3pm and I was very hungry. I decided to go to balanga city. A friend told me there's a great fastfood in the city; the name is called J2 Fastfood. I entered the place. A "pang-masa" ambiance welcomed me. I searched for the food. Wow! It looks delicious and clean. I ate 1 piece of fried fish and 1.5 cups of rice. I also asked for a soup. The soup was great. I also ordered 1 buko pie worth php17; also good. After paying php110 for my food it was worth it for a delicious and good food.